"Kids, for only one dollar fifty cents, you can get a crunchy, nutritious bag of Lay's Copro-Chips to tide you over between meals! Hey! Where are you going? How about just a buck a bag? Kids! ...Fifty cents?"
I swear, if he announces that this stuff is a delicacy in Kazakhstan then breaks the display case open, I'm leaving the theater. Awww, who am I kidding? It's comedy gold. What a country, eebeeda!
"And here we see proof positive that Jack Palance does, in fact, crap bigger than you."
"He who brung it, dung it."
I would be all over that like a drunk on free peanuts!!!
"Actually, they're all mine. I just like to show them off."
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