The intramural soccer match against the John Wilkes Booth clones did not go well...
"Will the real Abraham Lincoln please step forward?""Dude, the real Abe Lincoln's been dead since 1865."
Four score and seven Lincolns ago . . .
Mr. Lincoln, perhaps now would be the perfect time to pass those theater tickets to someone else.
"Anyone need any rails split? How about someone to defend wealthy railroads from homesteading farmers? We can do that too."
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